Learn to wipe your own ass.
Go ahead, runaway from home. Maybe I’ll get a book deal out of it.
There is no farm; we put the dog to sleep because we’re not paying five thousand for some surgery.
Yes, I know you keep porn under your mattress. I borrowed it last week.
You can’t drink this because it would make you even stupider.
There’s no way I’m taking you to the wiggles.
Another fucking recorder concert?
You want us to buy you a new car? I’m driving a 6 year old Corolla with 120 thousand miles that needs new suspension.
Thanks to you your mother gained 40 pounds and became a total bitch.
There’s no monster in your closet, but there’s about to be one sleep deprived, pissed off Mom in your doorway
